The gift box: A reflection
A poem about poems
Spoken rendition of “The gift box”.
The gift box is a poem about poems. In this refection I make the case for why poetry is essential to an examined life. If these ideas resonate with you, my hope is that you will consider joining the Poetry & Process Memory community to expand your practice of poetry in 2024. I’m offering either Free Access for 90 days or 50% Off an Annual Subscription! To join, use the links in the preceding sentence or the buttons towards the end of this post!
You can learn more about Memory in this Post from October.
Process
I am not one who wants to show up as a different person in different areas of my life. Certainly, some traits exhibit in a larger way in one setting over another, but when I keep a part of me separate from other circles I operate in, I feel disconnected from myself. So, I recently made the decision to talk more openly about my identity as a poet within my career circles and began to share some of my poems on LinkedIn. With my career tied into consulting (where how you are perceived matters) and working with clients in many different industries (with many different views on life), I certainly had and still have some hesitation about sharing this personal part of me but have decided the personal benefit of feeling connected with myself outweighs any potential career cost (which likely is more minimal than it actually feels).
Sharing my writing has sparked conversations with colleagues, industry friends and acquaintances about creativity and life outside of work, which for me has been a gift. It has allowed others to get to know me in a truer way, and in turn has been an impetus for others to share more about who they are with me. That is not to say that every conversation is full of connection, but when career driven individuals can connect about something other than work, beauty often follows.
One of the questions I have often received is, “Why poetry”. I have my personal answers about how I began reading poetry and what inspired me to write, but I wanted to have something that was compelling to share with the person who had an openness to the idea of reading poetry but needed some convincing to take the time and emotional energy to pick up a book of poems. Naturally, I decided to write a poem to figure that out.
As usual, I put pen to paper not knowing where to go. I journaled a page on the topic and let that page marinate in my mind for a few days, then began a poem. The first poem began as a story about a parent watching their child leave for their new young-adult life and was intended to build into a piece where poems provided some guidance in navigating that transitional time. I’m only a few years away from my first child taking this step, so while I haven’t gone through it, it is on my mind as something I know I will face and feel soon. However, the poem felt labored and like I was trying to project something onto the page that I did not really understand. While this is not necessarily a sign that the piece should not be pursued (often a labored piece just needs time and space, and I may revisit the original at some point), the theme of the gift box appeared in that draft and grabbed my attention saying this was what I should pursue for this poem on poems. I began fresh with that theme and let The gift box emerge.
Themes
What makes a poem a poem? What is the trait that makes it different from other writing, whether it be an essay or prose? It depends on who you ask, and someone who has studied literature or poetry in a formal setting likely has a beautifully crafted answer. My take is poems contain an openness in the writing that allows the reader to create their own interpretation, they say things that are not directly stated in the words on the page, and poems must contain stories within the story. While these are essential, they are not unique to poetry. What is unique to poetry is a poem should bring a feeling to the surface even without a mental understanding of the written words.
When we give a gift, how it is packaged makes a difference. The to/from tag, the bow, the wrapping paper, and even the quality of the box set the tone for the unwrapping experience. While the presentation of the gift is most often forgotten, there are times where the experience is more important than the gift that is contained in the box. Consider an engagement ring. Once one has been married for a few months, how often is the hand thrust out to another to display the ring in the same way it is done in the first months after an engagement? Not often. However, the story surrounding the engagement gets told time and time again. Whether it’s crafted and planned with family and friends surrounding, or whether the ring sit’s in a pocket for months until the perfect moment arises, or whether like me, you drive your girlfriend to a camp on a cold, dark February night, walk through a muddy cornfield to the perfect treehouse, and knock the flashlight off of the balcony as you’re taking a knee to bare your soul, the package surrounding a beautiful gift is what often lives on in a person’s mind and heart.
Let’s explore this idea as a poem as a gift, specifically the gift box underneath the wrapping that you hold on to for some reason or another.
There is nothing fancy about it. A box unadorned, a box without lining, stiff cardboard with a dull hue, almost square, snug lid that opens with expressed release,
On the surface, poems certainly can seem very fancy. They can be built with rhyming, rhythm, unique spacing, and a style name that is studied in universities. However, if we remove the ideas surrounding what the poem is, we are left with words on a page, but as they open to a reader they provide a release that is felt, in the way you experience a quality gift box lid resist it’s opening to finally acquiesce in a release the receiver experiences.
and sized to hold what seemed to be the perfect gift set aside,
How often is the perfect gift forgotten? Perhaps it is most obvious with the two-year-old who receives another plush stuffed animal from the well intentioned, gives it one look and throws it aside, and begins to collect objects from the room to put into the box, or outfit it as their new hat, or even climb into the box that has now become their personal castle. I would venture to say we have all had this experience in some shape or form, setting aside a gift after just a short while with very little impression made on our life. How does this pertain to poetry? The poet certainly has an intention in the words they gift a reader with. Weeks, months and even years may go into crafting a single poem to provide a message that moves you but whether that message sticks, or whether the reader ever understands that intended message is not certain. Certainly, the intentioned gift will land with some, but never always. We can think of the meaning the poet wrote into the poem as the gift, and as we will see in the following stanzas, a well-crafted poem as the gift box.
inviting a peering deep into cryptic speaking on the inside walls, and the space between spoke all that was never said, offering a no-word to go with you into your next place.
With a box open and the gift removed, what remains are only inside walls and open space. In a poem, the structure provides guardrails but plenty of space for the reader to explore. What is heard or felt will depend on the reader’s past experiences, memories, and current standing in life more than the words. Perhaps they will remember the specific words of the poem, but without the intention to memorize, more often it will be something that rises to their mind when they think of the poem, see the book, or open the lid of the book to read it again. “No word” is written inside the box or spoken by the poet, but words form in the reader’s mind that stay with them and give them a salve for life.
It was a gift itself. This box you hold of greatest value, perched now on the corner of where you live your life. Sometimes you lift the lid with hope and the space inside is silent. But it seems those silent days you mindlessly catch your palm on a sharp corner a clear feeling.
In the final stanzas we see the acknowledgement that the box meant enough to the recipient that they held onto it. We heard in the earlier stanza that the openness spoke to the reader through “no-words”, in my mind meaning words not written by the poet but still heard by the reader. However, at the end we stumble upon the other gift of poetry, feeling. Understanding is nice when it happens, but no one understands every poem they read. Even without comprehension, often the feeling of the poem can be touched. It may not happen in the moment where you lift the lid with intention, but rather when you return later in the day to the space where the box is perched on a corner and your hand brushes by and catches the sharp corner. Emotion arises from a void you cannot locate, and realization emerges from wisdom outside of yourself that the poem has primed to arise in you at the perfect time.
Consider this my case for why poetry is a necessity for our individual lives and for our culture. Immersion in poetry creates a well that one can draw from with intention (the opening of the box lid) or stumble upon (catching the palm on a sharp corner). The more poetry we read and return to, the deeper that well becomes.
When I don’t know where to turn, I turn to Lost by David Wagoner. When I feel an overwhelming feeling of shame, I talk to Mary Oliver’s environment in Wild Geese. When I feel burned or burned out, Jane Hirshfield reminds me of the simplicity I can choose in Da Capo. When I’m seeking beauty, lines from William Wordsworth emerge, notably from I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud. When I feel disconnected with myself, I feel the invitation to connect again through David Whyte’s words in The well of grief.
As we start the new year, perhaps a gift to your 2024 self would be to read a poem a day, subscribe to a poetry podcast (I love both Poetry Unbound and Poems for the Speed of Life), or to take on a practice of memorizing some poetry. If you feel stirred by this, consider joining the Poetry & Process Memory Community. It is a small but intentional community of people who want the experience of poems that can speak to them when they need it.
To offer you a quiet way to begin 2024, I’m offering two specials on the paid benefits of Poetry & Process…you pick which is best for you.
Receive a free paid subscription to Poetry & Process for the first season of 2024 (90 days).
Receive an annual subscription for $25 (50% discount).
May you find art and openness everyday.
Brian
If you missed the “A Poem” post of The gift box, I hope you will read and enjoy! You can find it here.
as you unwrapped the thought bathed in moonlight... dang brother